Raindrops on roses...

Because I'm terrible at blogging (but we knew this already) and I have a grand total of 5 research papers to be working on right now on top of everything else, here are a great quantity of lists to tide you over until I actually get back to describing, you know, my time here in Spain.

Things I'll miss:
1. The food. Pretty much all of it. Fresh baked bread with every meal, the rich flavors, the fact that the produce is all fresh as well - you can buy frozen, but most people don't, I think. And need I go on about the pastries? Sadly, the gelaterías have finally closed for the winter, but I'll survive.
2. The buildings. Gone are the days when I was intimidated by four- and five-story buildings. I love looking up at the skyline on my way to school every morning and seeing all the elaborate trim and cast-iron balconies with flowerpots hanging over the sides.
3. Being able to walk everywhere. Sure, it takes me about twenty-five minutes to get to school every morning and most of my friends live at least half an hour away from me, but the city is so beautiful I don't mind the walks. Plus the fact that it's so pedestrian-friendly.
4. The roses. Especially in Parque Federico García Lorca.
5. My professors. They're all wonderful, they're all interesting, and they're all absolutely dedicated to helping us learn and grow.
6. My host mom.
7. The Albaicín and the Alhambra.
8. Hearing all the many languages from tourists, especially the occasional British accent. That still thrills me.
9. The siesta. This should become an international institution.
10. The custom of greeting everyone. I love how when I get into elevators, whoever's in there says hello, and the first one to leave always says "hasta luego." As though we knew each other. I also love the fact that men open doors for women. Guess I'm just old-fashioned. :)

Things I miss from home:
1. My Birkenstocks.
2. Not having to walk 25 minutes to class.
3. My friends and family (actually, that's probably number one, but I dreamed about Birkenstocks last night for some reason. Go figure.)
4. Choir.
5. Practice rooms and pianos. Preferably both at the same time, but I'd take either one.
6. Easier access to research materials/libraries.
7. Easier communication without a huge time difference.
8. DRL. And really a Christian community in general. It's very different here.
9. Mustard. No one eats mustard here. They do, however, eat mayonnaise. Out of the two, not the one I'd choose.

Things I won't miss:
1. The pressure to "have fun" or "have the time of your life" or "have an authentic Spanish experience." I feel like study abroad is elevated to this pedestal, and admittedly it's been an unforgettable experience and I'm glad I did it, but that doesn't mean I don't have down days. Or head colds, like now. Or so much homework I feel lost and drowning. My host mom was talking to me today at lunch and mentioned that I haven't really discovered Granada's tapas, and isn't that a shame because Granada is known for its tapas. And there have been a lot of conversations like that, that I don't go out at night, that I stay in, that all the other students... And I'm not all the other students! I like to stay in. I don't like bars and crowds and noise. I'm weird like that. I do like spending time with people, and I'd rather do that in a different context than in a smoky bar.
2. The cigarette smoke everywhere.
3. The hours of stores - opening late in the morning, closed for the siesta, closed on Saturday afternoons (depends on the store), and closed on Sunday. If you have a busy class schedule, it makes running errands really difficult.

Places I've been/will be:
1. Granada!
2. Málaga
3. Ronda
4. Sevilla
5. Cabo de Gata
6. Córdoba
7. Tarifa
8. Morocco - Tangier and Rabat (also Chefchaouen, but that doesn't really count because I was sick)
9. Paris
10. Cádiz
11. Jerez
12. London

I think when I started this whole thing, I was expecting I'd magically turn into a different person when I was here. The kind of person who's outgoing, loves to be out, loves to be social, and has no qualms about going into unfamiliar restaurants with complete strangers and ordering in a foreign language. The kind of person who doesn't stress about schoolwork and is here for the experience first. That's not me. Admittedly, the schoolwork thing is something I need to work on, but it's also a point of pride with me, and I want to do my teachers justice. I think what my host mom sees is that I work hard and I study hard and I do well, but that's most of what I do, and she wants me to break the cycle. And I feel like I should have, but I'm in for the long haul now.

And then I remember the catchphrase from the Voice Care Network workshop this summer: "Don't 'should' on yourself." Because this is who I am. I need sleep to function, and when I've gone out and stayed up late I've had fun, but I can't do it on a regular basis or I'll get sick (like now). I value being with people more than I do places. I like spending time in the quiet. And I love music and singing and choir, which is why I've joined a choir here at the expense of my free time.

I guess I came here thinking I was going to change, and then when I didn't I gave up, and now I'm feeling overwhelmed. I only have four and a half weeks left here, which is crazy to think about, and one of those weekends I'll be in London, and the last week is finals week, and I have two research papers due next week. Have I wasted my time? I don't think so. Has it been the best time of my life? I don't know. But I think that for who I am, I've had a pretty good time here. And I will definitely, definitely tell people to go abroad.